I haven’t posted in a month? A MONTH?! I’m ashamed. You may all give me 30 whacks with a wet noodle. (That is so gross and weird.) In my defense, it’s been a heck of a month. Semester and classwork endings, three Christmas celebrations around the Midwest, other assorted holiday/break visiting, movieing, etc. and packing and leaving for Chicago for good.
As I type this, I’m sitting in the middle of my empty apartment, using someone else’s wireless network called “EATMYPOOP” (hee) and trying not to fall apart. On a related note, Magellan *actually* pooped on the floor today (shh, don’t tell my subletter. It’s a secret between you and me.) for the first time in 8 years. So evidently she’s handling it about the same as I am. Actually, since The Secret Incident she has been cool as a cucumber. Perhaps I should poop in the floor. Man, I’m tired.
So now I’m going to get in my car and drive away. Two and a half years here have earned me an almost-degree, a fierce and devoted army of friends and about 20 cartons of books. I was terrified to do this, to pick up and leave my life to come back to school, to do it all alone, to go do some living without a net to catch me. As I face the next giant chapter, I’m feeling terrified again, but somehow more equipped to deal. Maybe it’s the years that passed (I am a dignified thirty-something now, you know) or perhaps it’s just that part of the deal with living is that life gets less scary as you do it. Who knows. I do know this: I am not without a net. My net is giant, it is stretched across the whole country. People who love me are holding it in the place I’m going to and the place I’m leaving, on the West coast and the East coast, and even overseas. I am not doing this alone, even if it’s just me doing the actual doing.
Thanks Net-holders. You know who you are. (here’s a hint – it is probably you).

4 comments
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January 4, 2008 at 10:47 am
Miss E
You can do it, Keem! In the two and change years that I’ve known you, you’ve gotten much braver and bolder, and I have full confidence that you can do this, too!
Also, I don’t think that pooping on the floor would be a good idea as then you would have to pick it up, and that’s just gross. I mean, it’s OK when it’s kitty poop, but people poop? No way.
January 4, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Kilikena
This post made me cry.
I will hold your net Forever.
BUT do not poop on my floor. Or, eat my poop.
Poop.
January 9, 2008 at 7:39 am
Soy
You are one of my favorite people. If family doesn’t count (and it doesn’t, because it’s a separate list), you are in my top five.
I too felt sad when I read this, but in a comfortable way. This is change, and it’s good.
January 13, 2009 at 7:18 pm
lemonbar77
Wow, you summed up exactly what I’m dealing with right now! I’m 31 and this is my last semester. It’s encouraging to realize I’m not the only one struggling with this. Best of luck to you.