Here’s a bit of hard-earned wisdom for you: Goodbyes are hard. I know, I’ve shocked you again with my insight and unique take on the world, but there you have it.

This morning I had to say goodbye yet again to a dear friend, wishing her well as she takes off for a new life in parts far away. A small group went to breakfast at The Goodbye Breakfast Place, where I’ve only been on occasions such as these. (It is a great local diner, BTW, with the most amazing french toast/pancake concoction. I often think I should frequent more often, but since I’ve only ever been on very sad days, usually hung over, always exhausted, it’s sort of tainted with emotion. Also, it has weird bathrooms. But I digress.) Afterward we went to visit her awesome new car and say the final farewells. Despite valiant efforts and mental preparation, I was overwhelmed and as it became apparent that my sadness was going to manifest itself as less of a dainty, red-faced, closed-mouth sniffle and more of a shaking, wretched sobbing affair, I decided that I couldn’t just stand on the sidewalk snerffling. So I ran away. I’m pretty sure E understands.

This is an extra tough goodbye because it is the last one, at least until I’m the one leaving. You know, one of the most beautiful things about my time here has been finding and connecting with like-minded souls. I’m old enough to know that forging adult friendships is not easy or common. Having an entire group of people that get it/you is almost more than a person should expect. Watching those people trickle out of my daily life is painful, but there is a pride in knowing that people I love and who love me are scattered around this world, making other people’s lives more exciting, or more relaxed, or more educated, or more optimistic. But of course I’d rather have them all right here next to me. It’s hard to be so love-filled and so selfish at the same time.

So today, I am very very sad. I shall wallow and watch sad sad movies and cry and maybe call my mom. And then I’ll wash my face and head out to have some new fun with the fabulous people I still have here with me.

Advertisements