Tonight I killed a spider with my hand, using a kleenex. This is the first time I have ever done this in my entire life. It was only about the size of a mosquito but I refuse to let that diminish my glory.
Recent Comments
 | Sonya on 30DS Day 19 update |
| The Great Gurgle on Picky-picky* | |
| Sonya on Tap, tap…this thing… |
 | K on OLE! |
| K on Tap, tap…this thing… |
The Great Gurgle 
9 comments
Comments feed for this article
October 10, 2007 at 1:21 am
Tony
I picture you trying to blow the spider’s nose with the kleenex but then accidentally murdering it. Maybe it’s just manslaughter then?
What did you do before whenever you encountered a spider? Watch it as it crawls slowly underneath your bed never to be seen again until you turn off the lights and go beddy bye???? Watch out for the creepy crawlies that lurk in the shadows of the night. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Happy Halloween!
October 10, 2007 at 3:11 am
Tiffaroni
Way to go Kimmy! I name you the new ‘Cottage Spider Exterminator’ for the next time we’re in LaPorte.
October 10, 2007 at 5:49 am
Miss E
i am very proud of you. and typing this with one hand because i just ate a pear and the other hand is sticky.
October 10, 2007 at 11:12 am
kasia
Congrats! I myself have been known to shamelessly summon anyone within hollering distance if a spider needs squashing, including small children. Most bugs I will capture and safely escort outside, but spiders can die.
October 10, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Jenn Miller
You go! Anything with *more* than 8 legs is my nemesis. Ask Richard about the time I literally leaped onto the arm of a couch to avoid a house centipede.
October 12, 2007 at 4:27 pm
howlingmadcoyote
I put a solpugid into a bottle once out here. It turns out, they only LOOK like Demonic Spawn from the Deepest Pits of Terror. They eat your disease-bearing vermin, so I don’t smash them anymore.
Anywho, solpugids and other Big-Assed Bugs don’t take kindly being hustled into plastic bottles. You have to juke them a little.
I had one guy cut off the bottom of said water bottle (1.5 liter, this guy was a brute) and hold it behind said offensive beast. I then placed a sheet of paper in front of him, in plain sight. His eyes were big enough to see, but I don’t know enough about etymology to tell you for certain he narrowed them when he saw me coming. I like to imagine he did.
I scooted the paper toward his face. Many a bug will just back up when confronted with strange moving inanimate object. This guy wasn’t having any. He watched me coming like he was daring me to violate his personal space. Once it became clear I would have to touch him to back him up, he did what I should have anticipated, but I didn’t: He Attacked the Paper.
I have to clarify. A solpugid is between three and eightish inches long, has eight motor legs, two “arms”, complete with wee claws, and double mandibles for crunching Unfortunate Tasty Creatures. So when I say attack, I mean he jumped an inch or so forward, stabbed the paper with his arms, and probably threw a bite in there. I actually heard the paper go “snicker-snack” when he hit it.
He ended up jumping backward into the bottle. I stopped peeing myself long enough to close him in.
We ended up taking him to the reeds near the Euphrates, and dumping him there. I’d like to think that, in honor of my efforts, he lived out the remainder of his days gleefully killing off hanta-virus-infested mice for America. Most likely, though, he wandered back into the boards under my office space and scrounged for trash. Ingrate.
October 24, 2007 at 7:41 pm
keem
Dear lord, Justin. A fresh new nightmare to add to the mix.
November 9, 2007 at 11:20 am
Manoj Sterex
Poor Spider! 😛
December 5, 2007 at 9:59 pm
Picky-picky* « The Great Gurgle
[…] To be fair, other than the eating thing, I love this cat like crazy. We are a good fit – cautious and bitey when uncertain, lovey and sweet once we feel comfy. Also — just now he killed his first spider ever in 8 years. Just like me. […]